Images

Images (Jun 1989)

Come take my hand
Let’s walk and talk of what we feel
Can’t see your face, don’t know your name –
a stranger I once met?

Your beauty surpasses the rainbow’s shimmer,
your smile the morning sun
Your touch is soft like a summer breeze,
electric waves of power leap out

You come and go throughout my life,
But images remain
They begin to build to alarming heights
the realities they replace

“Oh, to sleep, perchance to dream – “
to see you once again!
‘Twould be heaven to hold in flesh and blood
the one who lives within

You don’t exist but in my mind,
a sight of things unseen
A fantasy girl, perhaps to some …
To me, a living dream.

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Nocturnal Musings

(Jul 1991)

Summer evening breeze, flowing cool and soft
Caress my face with your gentle touch
Kiss my lips as no lover can
Carry my spirit away to distant lands

Roaming darkened streets abandoned by man,
Ever more aware of God’s silent hand,
I feel my soul rising, seeking new heights,
Breaking the chains I impose in the light

Sounds of nature, I admit your life!
You express your purpose, perhaps greater than mine
But dare I ask you to lower your voice?
You disturb my romance with the wind and the night

Who do men fear the nocturnal world?
What terrors arise with the bedding of the sun?
Is it loneliness of heart or disquiet of mind
‘Tries all to escape from solitary quiet time?

Gibbous moon rising with a borrowed glow,
Whisper a hint of the secrets you know
Your light has graced many, saints and sinners alike
Impart us the wisdom you’ve learned from their lives

And last but not least – a thousand points of light
Subtle, yet sharp, they sprinkle the sky
A heavenly crown, to which none of gold can compare
Woven through the tapestry of a city summer night.

My Dream

Ah, to sleep and never wake
This is a journey I long to take
Is it really too much to ask,
Is it such a monumental task?

How dare you force me into life,
this prison of pain and endless strife
Tuck me in, then go away
Don’t bother to wake me, come the day

“Oh, to sleep, perchance to”… sleep!
No dreams are needed to keep
me distracted and confused
Just blissful repose with no ado

Waking life is not for me
Nonexistence is what I need
Until forever and again
Until the cosmic time clock ends.

When Home Leaves You

Both of my parents are gone now. Just before my dad passed away in 2012, my brother and I had to go through the long, painful process of clearing out the family home and preparing it for sale.

It’s not easy to watch what had been our “home base” for nearly half a century turn into an empty shell of its former self, and then pass into the hands of new owners – knowing I would never be able to set foot inside again.

This is a song about leaving that part of me behind.

 

When Home Leaves You                                                    (2012)

I left home at eighteen, but I didn’t stray too far
Wasn’t quite ready to find myself, I was still just a child
Tried again at nineteen, took the path that many do –
Defending our country’s freedom, but I was still just a boy

The changes going on inside, they run deep and they run slow
What turns the boy into the man, we’ll never really know
One day you’re chasing lightning bugs on a sultry summer night
The next you’re chasing dreams as they fade slowly out of sight

 

I took some time at twenty-three to fall back and regroup
I’d found a world much bigger and much harder than I knew
Left home again at twenty-eight, this time it was for good
I’d come too far to turn back now, even if I could (’cause the…)

Changes going on inside, they run deep and they run slow
What turns the boy into the man, we’ll never really know
One day you’re riding skateboards, teasing girls, and being cool
The next you’re racing down a road that’s ending way too soon

 

You don’t grow up when you leave home (but..)
when there’s no home left to go back to, when the
house that held a father, three kids, and a wife
is just an empty shell, full of ghosts of past life

You don’t grow up when you leave home
You only start to get a clue when home … leaves you

A Poem for Evy

This came out of one of the more heartbreaking moments on that forum for unhappy people that I mentioned previously.  Evy “Noel Martelli” Raine made a few posts and perhaps received some measure of comfort from those who responded. But unfortunately it was too late – she was too far along the path and took her own life on 08-18-2015, at the age of 32.

 

For Evy                                                             (Aug 2015)

Into the depths of a luminescent sky
Her lonely spirit floated on a never-ending sigh
The earth shrank below to a shimmering dream
A river of tears transformed to a delicate, meandering stream

Faster now she glides on a golden ray of light
Angels await her coming, their arms are opened wide
Deep inside her soul plays a long forgotten song
The melody is sad, but she knows she’s going home.

The suffering and sadness, all the pain she knew
Turn into a rainbow of multicolored hues
Her hell is just a memory, and it too now dissolves
Her heart explodes with joy, there’s nothing left but love!

Ghost Refugees

I wrote a couple of poems last year about a forum for unhappy people that I used to frequent. These days, I’m not so much a regular there, as an occasional lurker.  But I still think of myself as one of those unhappy people, so this is as much about me as it is all the other tortured souls I encountered there.  Anyway, I recently brought the two poems together into a song, that I’ve entitled……

 

GHOST REFUGEES

They come, they go. … They disappear into little black holes
They rant, they rave. … Not all though can be saved
They laugh, they joke. … To forget what makes them choke
They cry, they scream. … For madness that has no meaning

Refugees from a broken world, careening down the lost highway
Searching for a kindred spirit, running from the dark of day
Society is apathetic, still my smile is copacetic
All the world’s a stage, you see – no one shall know the scars in me

They come, they go. … They disappear into little black holes
They rant, they rave. … Not all though will be saved
They see, they perceive. … With a depth beyond their years
They feel, they hurt … Too deeply to put into words

Exiles from a hostile planet, adrift in blackened misery
Searching for release beyond the veil of death’s sweet victory
Life’s a tale as told by fools, based on lies and made-up rules
Sound and fury, signifying Nothing … NOTHING!

If – Since

If…                        (Jan 2016)

If I could die tonight
I wouldn’t have to worry about tomorrow
I wouldn’t have to remember yesterday
Or live through anymore todays

If I could die tonight
No one would remember my name
after a generation or two
No one would mourn for long, not even you

If I could die tonight
I could escape being human —
always wanting to have and be
Something more than what I have and am
(or something other than what I’ve been)

If I could die tonight
I could join the stream of time
Maybe sleep a dreamless sleep
(My dream is not to exist)

But if I could die tonight
Would I reach the other side
Or find myself in a dimension
of endless pain and regret?


Since…                              (Jan 2016)

Since I can’t die tonight
because someone won’t let me
though the world would be better off
if it could just plain forget me

Guess I have to keep trying
and pretending and lying
Paste on a smile
Even when I’d rather be crying

Act like I care
when I know that I don’t
Act like I’m here
when inside I’m long gone

Maybe life will surprise me
though I think it unlikely
a second wind will arise
to make me more sprightly

Life’s just a bitch
Nobody will deny it
If there’s a way to kill your spirit,
She’ll find it and try it!

So stuck here I am
in this asylum of man,
impatiently yearning
for my sentence to end.